Sunday, April 12, 2009

Why Buner? Or Why I Should Stop Worrying and Learn to Love the Taliban.


I've been wondering out loud: Why Buner?

I mean, what is the point of the Talibs moving into Buner? Is is it because they just can't handle the thought of a few "pir parast mushrikeen" hanging around at the local sufi saint's mausoleum? Or is it because they just had to show the people of buner as to who was boss? Was this an 'invitation' by the disgruntled JI, who after having been defeated in the election, wouldn't mind a little local dada-geeri in the name of Islam? (Muft haath aa'ay to kehtay haiN keh maal achchaa hai!)

Then it hit me! Like an unsuspecting electrician hits the outer walls of manawan police training center alarming the fuck out of underpaid, over-criticised "heroes" of our nation. Heroes who can't be bothered with such terms of endearment (and the obligations of an honorable death that such honorifics bring with themselves) and proceed to run around like scared little chickens. Meanwhile, the hapless electrician escapes the bursts of automatic gunfire aimed at him by those "commandos" who were sitting there waiting for exactly this kind of eventuality, and who manage miss him anyway, and all is quiet once more.

Anyways, so it hit me, let's just say "like a ton of bricks"!

Buner puts the Taliban in direct strategic control of various areas for future operations, most troubling of which is Islamabad itself. There is a little tributary that flows by Buner, right into the Tarbela reservoir. They can start off in Buner and end up right at the head of Tarbela Dam. It would be nice if they got caught way before or that they didn't bring a 1000kg of plastic explosives, but knowing the Taliban, and knowing the FUCKWITS that we have handling the civil & military affairs, we can be sure that both these things will come to pass.

Now, if they attacked the Tarbela dam by sinking a 1000kg explosive to the base of Tarbela Dam ... Wouldn't that be a hell of an attack?

I wonder what the scions of the Pakistani state, i.e., ISPR/Kayani, and/or Rehman Malik or Zardari will have to say about it then? "We DIDANT GAT EEVUN WAN DAY NOTAASS FRUM DEE TAALIBAAAN" ???

Another option for the talibs could be major attacks on Wah Cantt., and Islamabad even. If you type in "Buner Pakistan" in Google Maps and look around a bit, you would know why I'm getting so paranoid about the Talibs Taking over Buner.

2 comments:

karachi khatmal said...

it shouldn't be, but this is one of your funniest posts yet...

eevun wan day notaas...

muhahahhaha!

Taban Khamosh said...

hah! thanks KK ... nothing like your "Saaaaaattthhhiiii" post, but I'll get there one day ;-)